I want to write about my sweet Caleb boy. I know my words wont do him justice, but I want to savor every little moment I have with him. (You can read a bit about his stupid cancer here.)
Last Friday, I left work as soon as I could. My weeks are too busy, and I wanted to spend as much time with Caleb as I possibly could. We cuddled on the couch, watched whatever he wanted to on TV, and I scratched his freckled back between his naps. His silly giggles are contagious, even when they're because of Spongebob. I can't put into words how much I love this sweet boy. Knowing him is proof enough for me, that God lives and He loves.
When his dad came home, Caleb greeted him with hugs and kisses, even though his frail body was uncomfortable and tired. He gladly headed upstairs for a nap before some visitors came over a little later. When the volunteers from Make a Wish introduced themselves to Caleb, they were so kind, and surely impressed with the way he greeted them by name, with a handshake. As I listened to the informal interview take place, I was touched by the simplicity of Caleb's wishes. With the opportunity to wish for literally anything in the world, he mentioned wanting to be a cop for a day, just like his dad. In between questions, he blew me kisses across the table. He had a tough time thinking of anything else he really wanted. Such a happy little boy. And such a huge example to me.
Caleb was exhausted before the process was through. I walked him upstairs and tucked him into bed. "Do you want me to read you a story?" "No. That's okay." "I'm really bad at singing, but I can sing to you?" (Giggles) "Nooo." "Well, can I pray with you?" "Yeah..." I kneeled by the side of his bunk bed and held his hands. (I love the way he always squeezes back.) I began praying for Caleb to feel how much he is loved. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of holding it together, but my sweet boy started rubbing the side of my face. I attempted to continue, but then he pulled my face closer to his. He could sense my sadness, and just hugged my face in silence. He gently moved my hair from my face and scratched my head, as I tried to finish. And when I started crying, he whispered, "Shhhh." I felt completely overwhelmed by the love, overflowing from this sweet little boy. When I managed to close my prayer of very few words, I asked him behind buckets of tears, "Caleb, you know I love you right?" He responded with a confident, "Yes." Then he rolled over to the other side of the bed, and quickly fell asleep.
I'm so grateful to have felt God's love so profoundly through my sweet 9-year-old nephew, hero, and angel. I am trying to be more like him every day.
Our day with him on Sunday in a music video.