Defining Amy

Leah.

2012-01-04T07:11:00.017-07:00

For those of you who didn't know, my older sister Leah passed away about a month ago. It's been a roller coaster of emotions for me since then, but I'm so grateful I've been in Vegas, surrounded by the love of my family and friends. I still have ups and downs, my whole family does. But we're hanging in there together, and appreciating and holding on to our beliefs in Jesus Christ and His atonement more than ever before.

I know I will be using this blog as a way to work through some of my feelings and grief about my sweet sister for the next little while. When it came time to write down my thoughts for her funeral, I remember feeling overwhelmingly sad that I hadn't written down more of my memories with her. (Like this time.) At the beginning of this new year, I'm resolving to blog more. I am incredibly blessed to have so many wonderful relationships in my life, and I want to remember each one of them better.

Remember has become such a powerful word for me. Remembering is what keeps me close to my sister. Remembering is what makes me want to be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. (Better this year, than last year.) And remembering is what draws me closer to my Savior.

Leah's funeral is all kind of a blur to me, but this is what I had typed up to say. Not really sure if these are the words that were said, but these were and are some of the feelings in my heart. I decided the easiest way for me to share some of my thoughts was in a letter, written to my sister.

Dearest Leah,

We all miss you, but I have a pretty good feeling you already know that.

I’m gonna try and read this without too much crying, because I know you’d rather have us all laughing.

So, how is Heaven? How does it feel to be free from your tired body? After I heard you left us, I prayed and prayed that God would be gentle with you. Are you doing okay? When you saw Grami for the first time, did she give you a love pat on your butt, or a kiss on the lips? Probably both. And if there's any way for her to be spoiling you in Heaven right now, I know she is.

I already miss the way you always said “Hey Ame,” whenever you saw me or answered the phone. You know how to give the best hugs, and how to make anyone laugh. Somehow, your sarcasm has never been hurtful, just funny. And we've always loved being around you.

It’s hard to believe it was just last week, when you were cracking jokes around the dinner table on Thanksgiving. They were really dumb jokes too, but we were laughing at how funny YOU thought they were.

I remember when I was just starting middle school. I was not happy to be growing up. You tried to cheer me up by saying that Schlauder girls have a special power, and together, we came up with a Schlauder power cheer. We stood in a circle, put our hands in the middle, chanted “Schlauder Power,” then raised them up with a sassy, “Schlauder girls got attitude.” (There may have been a handshake or a dance afterwards. I’m not really sure.) But me and Ally felt really cool to have a cheer with our older sisters.

I remember sitting in the front seat of your teal green Camaro, learning all the words to Mariah Carey’s song. “Heartbreaker” with you. I still have it memorized. And I think of you every time I hear it. (Or anything Destiny's Child.)

I remember one time sitting in your chair at your salon. You brought a pack of index cards and markers. We thought of 100 (or more) reasons why you loved your husband, and we took turns decorating the cards for his Valentine’s Day present. Your heart's always been so big, and you've always had so much love to share.

I remember the themed birthday parties you planned for your kids, and the way you wanted your house to always be decorated just right. I know you love your kids more than any of us can even comprehend. And I promise you, Leah, that we will all take such good care of them, and let them know how much you love them.

Leah, you are far more beautiful than you have ever realized. You have touched so many lives, just by the simple ways you make others feel good about themselves. You've always loved doing hair because you wanted other people to feel beautiful. I remember the joy you felt when you made women with cancer feel beautiful again. So many people love you, Leah. I hope you will someday see the beauty we all see in you, and the beauty our Heavenly Father sees in you.

I know you want to be better. We all want to be better. I'm just so grateful that that progression, of being a little bit better every day, doesn’t end in this life. I’m so grateful that you can become the Leah you’ve always wanted to be. And I can become the Amy I've always wanted to be. I find comfort believing that now, that progression will be less painful for you.

I don't understand exactly how Christ's atonement makes it possible for Him to be the perfect judge, but I know it does. I know He died for me and for you. He knows what we struggle with, what hurts us most, and how to best to heal us. Maybe this life got just a little too hard for your soft heart. And Heavenly Father wanted to wrap His arms around you and welcome you home.

Lee Lee, I miss you dearly, but I know I will see you again. I hope that by the way I live my life, that I can show you how very much I love you and look forward to laughing with you again.

Love always and forever,

Amy

A little update.

2011-10-04T10:59:00.010-06:00

I moved from Utah to Las Vegas about a month ago.

I am a full-time, live-in nanny for two little girls.
I'm their home school teacher, field trip coordinator, taxi driver, hair stylist,
and bed time story reader.

I never would have pictured myself doing what I'm doing now,
but I'm grateful for more reasons than I can list.

Number one reason of course, is being close to my own family...
and my cute nieces and nephews.

I miss teaching and coaching my kids in Utah,
but this change has been exactly what I've needed.

Plus it's snowing in Utah today.

I know God has a plan for me and for each one of us.
I'm so grateful I've felt His hand so clearly in my life lately.
XOXO.

Quick trip to California. And henna.

2011-10-02T13:15:00.017-06:00

Me and Britt in Vegas in July.

Last weekend, I made a quick trip to Southern California to visit one of my best friends, Brittney. We had a great time eating BJs pizza on the beach and catching up over red licorice and peanut m&ms. We finished the night with a Redbox movie and an abundance of henna. As I was looking through my phone, I found all of these pictures of henna in my photos. It all got started when a student of mine went to India and brought me back a supply. Turns out, I love me some henna. But I still love Brittney more.

Thanks again Britt and Micah for a fun-filled 24 hours in sunny California.

Are any of you henna fans too?

I shouldn't pick favorites.

2011-09-08T09:58:00.013-06:00

But I always do.
This one's name is Luis.

And this is Katie.

As many of you know, I took a small group of my high school students on a service-learning trip to Costa Rica in June. We had a wonderful time adventuring in the rainforest and helping out at an escuela in Linda Vista - a small village outside of Sarapiqui. These two kiddos are from that school and found a way to melt all of our hearts.

When it comes down to it, Luis and Katie didn't need my students to travel all the way to Costa Rica to repaint their school, clean their playground, and play games in English with them. That's not all service-learning trips are about. The reason I organized the trip was for my students.

There's something special about serving, when the person serving, is completely removed from all of their comfort zones. Walls break down easier in 80% culture shock, 90% language confusion, and 100% humidity. They just do. Loving people becomes easier, (even when they're not as adorable as Luis and Katie.) Ideally and hopefully, as a result of the trip, my students and I will learn to love the people in our own homes and communities - better. I'm a huge supporter of humanitarian work abroad. But only if the process additionally leads to improving life back home... in some way or another. When it's done right, it always seems to do just that.

Have you ever volunteered abroad?
How have you seen it transfer to your life back home?

Big fan of this quote today.

2011-09-05T20:06:00.002-06:00

Thanks so much for sharing una bella vita.

My favorite Pandora stations this summer.

2011-09-01T12:56:00.008-06:00

I haven't blogged much this summer. Mostly because I've been living out of a suitcase, and for the most part, absolutely loving it. I have a couple more trips planned before I start working full-time again, but until I'm up for posting more often... here are my top five Pandora stations at the moment. I feel like they reveal pretty much everything about me and my summer. : ) Quite the variety, I know. In order...

1. Prince Royce
2. Adele
3. Danza Kuduro by Don Omar
4. Justin Beiber
5. Rihanna

I linked my favorite songs on youtube for each artist. Enjoy.
What are your favorite Pandora stations at the moment?
Flower pictures from Costa Rica in June.

Me encanta Puerto Rico.

2011-08-18T10:49:00.014-06:00

Walking around Old San Juan.

Visiting Parque de las Palomas.

Loving the colorful doors and cobblestone streets.

Relaxing on the grass in front of El Morro.

Seeing Carlos Arroyo. (Well, kind of.)

Watching basketball in La Perla from afar.

It was my fifth trip to Puerto Rico,
and I still completely agree with it's nickname:
"Island of Enchantment."

Little Miss Kate.

2011-08-03T23:10:00.007-06:00

Over Christmas break (I know - forever ago), I took these cute kids roller skating. I was trying desperately to be the cool aunt, taking full advantage of the fact that the coolest aunt was MIA on a mission. (She puts food coloring in their milk and mac and cheese!! Seriously, how can I compete with that?) Anyways... we had a great time, and I've kept these two pictures on my desktop for the last 7 months as a very important reminder.

This was Little Miss Kate's first ever time in a roller skating rink. She is quite possibly the clumsiest, most uncoordinated six-year-old I have ever met, and this day proved to be no exception. As all the big kids were racing around the rink, competing for free cherry slushies, Kate held tight to the side. She skate-walked a few steps, then fell - flailing her arms as her feet flew out from under her. She got up, took a few more strides, then fell even harder. This process continued for two full hours.

Everytime she fell, she giggled, as silly six-year-olds do, and even made it a competition to get up faster each time. With plenty of bumps and bruises to show for it, the wood floor was very unkind to Miss Kate. But you would have never known from the smile on her face. I took this picture just minutes before we left, honestly with tears in my eyes because I was so inspired by my adorable niece. I know life isn't about how many times I fall. It's about getting up, trying to do better the next time, and smiling through it all. But Kate actually believed it, and that made all the difference. I feel so blessed to have these little ones in my life. I hope they know how much their second coolest aunt loves them.

To my graduating seniors.

2011-07-31T22:00:00.010-06:00

I love being a teacher. Not so much the endless hours of prep time, papers to grade, or feelings of complete exhaustion, but the relationships that develop as a result. From preschool to university classes - I've taught almost every age of students, but there's something special about teaching high school seniors.

They're at such an exciting crossroad of their lives, where they can choose now between many paths that will eventually lead to more crossroads, and in due time, little by little, create individual road maps for their lives. I think back to my time as an 18-year-old, and often wish I knew then what I know now. No question about it, I'm so grateful for the learning I've experienced on my own from the choices I've made, and I know I still have a ton to learn, but the teacher in me still wants to give just a tiny bit of advice.

Make a concerted effort to get to know yourself better. You think you've "found yourself," unlike any of your peers, but you're wrong. Keep searching and keep discovering the person you are and the person you want to be. Make it a conscious endeavor. Learn what is most important to you and feel comfortable being the same you, no matter who is around or what situation you find yourself in.

Treat everyone like you believe they are genuinely doing the very best they can. If you do, it will be much harder for you to be critical and judgmental of people you don't know, or people you know very well. This little tip is probably the one I wish I knew most.

If you've already made best friends in your life, hold on to them with a tight grip. Leave room in your heart for new friends, but keep hold of the good ones. If you have negative influences as friends, now is a perfectly convenient time to part ways. And if you're still looking for close friends, put yourself in situations to meet new people. Opt for a random roommate in college or a job where you know no one.

See the world. If that means filling up a passport, great. (You know I'll back you up on that one.) If that means exploring the city you're in, awesome. There's always a new restaurant to try or new park to visit. Just take advantage of every opportunity to get to know every person and place you can. You will learn most from people most different from you and places out of your comfort zone. Crave those learning opportunities like you crave a frosty, a slurpee, or McDonalds fries.

Don't equate busyness with success. It is quite possible to be too busy to ever really be successful.

Finding balance between things you have to do and things you want to do will still be a challenge for you, but remember that you do need both. Try and do something that makes you happy every day, whether it's practicing yoga, talking to your best friend on the phone, or painting your nails.

Don't make it a goal to be better than everyone else. Make it a goal to be the very best version of yourself. Real life isn't like when you used to compare your spelling tests with your friends in 3rd grade. Someone will always be smarter, cuter, and more talented than you. Accept that and choose to be the best you, regardless of how competitive others may be.

Control what you can control. You cannot control other people's feelings or opinions. You can't make someone like you (or love you). You can't control the horrible timing when your professor assigns a research paper. You can't control that it will probably be incredibly hard for you to find a job after college. But you can control your reaction to other people. You can control how hard you work in school or at your job. You can improve your resume and email it 100 (or 200) more times than you ever wanted to.

Accept the idea that things probably aren't going to work out exactly as you have them planned in your head. See life's curve balls as a contest-type of challenge, where you can win a prize if you deal with them in the right way. (The prize being happiness. Duh.)

Try really hard to live one day at a time. So cliche, I know. Your lives have been very planned for you up until this point. Now, just enjoy the journey, trying not to get too worried about the future or too caught up on the past. Living one day at a time will be more valuable than you can probably understand at this point.

Recognize the battles taking place between your head and your heart. I can only speak for myself, but there are FAR more times I wish I had listened to my heart instead of my head, rather than the other way around. For some, "following your heart" is dependent on circumstances; it's more like a personal mantra for me. Good luck figuring that one out.

Try and believe things do happen for a reason. Even if they don't, you'll be a happier person along the way if you believe they do. Try it out, and you'll see.

Just keep stepping. Even if you don't know which way to go, which degree to choose, which job to take, take a deep breath, then move in a direction. You'll end up where you're suppose to be, eventually. You're just not going to get any closer to your goals if you stay in the same place.

Try new things! See new places. Meet new people. If studying abroad, trying Thai food, or dying your hair will get you closer to the person you want to be, then do it. You'll regret not doing things more than you regret doing them. In some cases though, learn from other people's bad choices. No need to make the same mistake.

Let other people help you. If your roommate wants to cook you soup when you're sick, let him. If your mom wants to help you set up your new apartment, let her. You don't need to do all the hard things all on your own. Letting people help you out along your journey shows them that you care about them. (Don't forget to return the same kindness to them.)

Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself. Just be a little bit better every day. That will always be enough. Believe your best is always enough.

Much love, Ms. Schlauder

Sexy ladies.

2011-06-20T00:17:00.006-06:00

When I saw these two 70-ish-year-old ladies strutting on the beach last week,
in Billabong swimsuits and oversized sunglasses,
I laughed out loud to myself. Not at them by any means,
but at the potential of a similar image,
including me with any one of my best friends,
50 years from now.
I have the best "best friends" in the world.

I'm off to Costa Rica for the next little bit.
I've missed blogging, but life has been good to me.
It's been nice to take a break,
but I'll be back soon with pictures and updates to report.
XOXO.

Rain.

2011-05-19T07:56:00.007-06:00

The only thing positive about 40 degree, rainy weather all week in mid-May...

is that it reminds me of this little guy.
His name is Rain. He has autism. His heart is even bigger than his imagination.
And he was one of my very favorite students in Taiwan.
Whenever it rained, the other preschool kids would sing,
"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day..."
With no bad intentions at all. However.
Rain would cry.

I'm missing his sweet hugs today,
even though they were few and far between.

I know I've been a blog slacker lately.
I will be back soon. Promise.
Life is good for me, and hopefully for you too.
XOXO.

Festival of Colors.

2011-05-03T08:08:00.003-06:00

If you live in or near Utah, you have probably attended the Festival of Colors or at least vicariously attended via your friends' facebook pictures and status updates. But truth is, it really is all it's chalked up to be. (I'm funny.)

Each year, the Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple hosts a Holi Kirtan festival in Spanish Fork. Tons of people gather to throw chalk at each other, all at the same time, to welcome Spring. There were an estimated 50,000 people in attendance this year, according to the temple's website.

Jason, Stacey, Margo, Me, and Rachie
The best part about this year's spectacle, was celebrating with best friends and students. I scheduled my religion unit around this event, and offered Holi attendance as an assignment option. Most of my kids made it a priority, and loved it. Look how cute they are.

For some reason, pretty smiles didn't seem appropriate.

At least we matched.

And even though this took place over a month ago, I feel justified in my delay because it snowed on Friday. Maybe I should try welcoming Spring again. Where's my chalk?

Beautiful people do not just happen.

2011-04-26T07:26:00.004-06:00

Stolen from one of my very favorite student's blogs.
Beautiful that Elizabeth Kubler Ros came up with the five stages of grief.
And that this same student and I use to volunteer as grief counselors together here.

Spring Break.

2011-04-23T09:05:00.009-06:00

I had a wonderful time spending Spring Break with my family in Las Vegas last week. It was especially hard for me to leave the kiddos... and the 85 degree weather. Here's the day-by-day breakdown to help me remember. On Tuesday, I gave a presentation about different cultures in Kaden's fourth grade class. We watched Disney clips in different languages, I told them stories from Africa, and I taught them to dance merengue.

On Wednesday, I went to a church class (institute) with my grandpa and mom. Then, Grandpa treated us to pedicures and lunch at his favorite Krazy Buffet. I have no idea why he insists on speaking Spanish to people who speak Chinese, but isn't he the cutest?

On Thursday, I gave another presentation in Kaden's class with nshima (from Zambia), plantains (from Guatemala), and mochi (from Tawain). I went to Taylor's fifth grade class too. This is a picture of us doing Tai Chi.

Later that evening, our family traveled to Paris (well... the hotel), for Miss Kate's 6th birthday. She loves Paris, and it was so adorable to see her face at the sight of the Eiffel Tower. You really should watch her birthday dance on the strip. And Levi thought the Bellagio water show was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. He kept grabbing his dad's face, making sure he was watching the water show too.

On Friday, I played tackle football with Kaden. Yes, he won. And yes, I was trying really hard. Then Kate had a birthday party with 13 other little girls. It started with a scavenger hunt for a ring and ended with a Justin Beiber dance party.

Levi really does love me, I promise. And aren't these little girls the cutest?

Then on Saturday, Kaden's team played the last game of his season versus the only other undefeated team in the league. It was a great game, and I was so proud of "Sweetness," and the rest of his team. You wouldn't believe how intense 10-year-old football is.

The most adorable picture after their big win. I'm pretty sure this the start of Kaden taking a victory lap around the field.

Afterward, I watched Jackson's flag football team win both of their games. Best story of the weekend: In effort to motivate Jackson, his Dad told him that he'd give him $5 for every flag he pulled off another kid. Another Dad asked, "What about an interception? How 'bout $20?" Convinced an interception wasn't really possible, Chad said, "No, I'd give him $100 for an interception!" Jackson got an interception the next play. Undoubtedly the first interception of his career.
Go Jax.

Then, I tagged along with my sister Jennie to the most beautiful photo shoot I have ever seen. I'm so excited to share pictures and brag for her. To finish off the evening, we heated the jacuzzi and had a family barbecue. It was so good to see Leah. My other sister Amber is living at home now, and I'm so sad I'm missing the party.

I love my family.

All pictures stolen from my mom and sister.

I love my map.

2011-04-21T15:34:00.008-06:00

Though another kind of love would be great to fall asleep with and wake up to, my love of traveling inspires my dreams at night and my thoughts from the minute I wake up in the morning. I love this huge map in my bedroom almost as much as I love traveling. I wish I could put into words how much traveling means to me. It's about so much more than getting new stamps in my passport. My travels have played such a huge role in defining me as a person now, as well as the person I hope to become.

I've been thinking about putting my condo up on this home exchange website. Not sure if anyone would want to house swap with me in Utah, but it seems like a very intriguing thought. I'd be down to go just about anywhere in the world, and I think it would be such a great way to see a place, by staying in a real person's home. You know, like the lovely movie The Holiday. Have any of you tried a home exchange? I'm curious. What are your thoughts?

Dance party!

2011-04-10T13:04:00.006-06:00

Friday was the last school day before Spring Break. I knew my AP Psychology students wouldn't be in the mood to take notes or listen to me lecture, so I scheduled our yearly dance party for that day. My kids went all out, decorating my classroom in a luau theme. I bought leis from the dollar store. And we invited all the students in the Special Education program at our school, to party with us. Part of me wants to make it sound more academic than that, but really, the purpose was just to have a really great time with each other. And as you can see, that is exactly what happened.

We played the Cha-Cha Slide to get the party started.

I didn't see this one coming from one of my favorite quiet, shy students.
Awesome.

Of course, the limbo was a must.
My student's blue mohawk almost didn't make it.

Getting low to some sort of great song.

I love these kids so much it's crazy. I will cry at their graduation.

Boot-scootin boogie, wonderfully led by Ms. Robertson. (Top right.)

My roommate (right) is so pretty. I don't think a dance party can be really be considered a party without her.

If this picture doesn't make you want to Congo right now, I don't know what will.

Best Congo line ever.

All smiles in front of my favorite Nat Geo pictures.

And the YMCA never gets old.
I'm so grateful for my students, who teach me so much every day.
Here is last year's post.
Hope you all have a wonderful week. I will be loving my Spring Break.

Ice castles.

2011-03-28T09:27:00.011-06:00

A few weekends ago, my roommates and I went to visit the Utah Ice Castles.
We had a ton of fun, as we always do.
I'm not a huge fan of winter, but this little adventure was a definite highlight.

Margo, Me, and Stacey (our newest addition)

Cool, right?

I'm not really sure what's happening on the right.

Do you like it better with or without the flash?

I don't think I've ever been this happy to be surrounded by ice.
And yes. Margo's little beanie had all sorts of nicknames by the end of the night.
Have a great week.

I'm so happy to be starting the last term of the school year today.
Wooohooo.
Who else is ready for summer?

P.S. Thanks for all your sweet comments on my last post.
You guys are the best.

Letters to my students...

2011-03-18T16:21:00.009-06:00

To my student, who made me a masking tape engagement ring yesterday,
I very much appreciated the gesture (and the humor), but you're still going to need to do some work to bring your grade up from an 18%. Oh yeah. And thanks for the ice cream at lunch.

To my student, who dreams of being Mr. Project Runway,
Do it. No doubt about it. You know I'm your biggest fan, and I'll proudly keep sporting one of your very first original purses, feathers and all.

To the best friends, who want more than anything to be the "cool girls,"
It's all true. High school reputations mean absolutely nothing after high school.

To my student, who gets teary-eyed over every A- she gets,
You're a freshman. You're taking a very difficult college class. You still have a 96%. Please please please stop being so hard on yourself. Life is too short, and your best will always be enough.

To my student, who slept and sweat all class period yesterday, because he was going through Lorotab withdrawals,
I got choked up because of how much you were suffering. But also because you were strong enough to try. I'm rooting for you.

To my student, who legitimately asked if she could set me up on a date for extra credit,
Thank you for the thought. I appreciate your concern for my singleness. But I'm doing just fine, and I would really love if you did your reading over the weekend instead of worrying if your cousin or brother or uncle is tall enough for me.

To my perfect brother and sister twin students,
I'm pretty sure if I had two children just like you down the road, my life would be complete.

To my student, whose parent's outlaw jeans more than twice a month, high heels or earrings ever, a driver's license, hugs from boys, or permission to go to anyone's house but family,
Please don't go too crazy once you get to college.

To my pregnant girls,
I know it's hard to imagine but your entire life doesn't need to be dictated by the choices you made in high school. Yes, there are consequences to live with, but you still have bright futures ahead of you. Keep on keeping on.

To my student, who told me my class is the hardest class she's ever taken, but the funnest one,
I love you.

To my freshman student, who cried all day because of a nasty breakup with her boyfriend,
I'm not going to be like every other adult you know, and tell you high school relationships don't matter. (I'll keep that opinion to myself.) I know you're hurting, and I hope you know my door is always open.

To my volleyball girls,
Thank you for always making me laugh. For quoting kid history all day, every day, and teaching me how to Catdaddy, just like Chris Brown.

To my student, who wants to go to an Ivy League school, but fears it's too "adventurous and unstable,"
Follow your dreams, please. Fear will serve no valuable purpose in your life, at any point.

To my student, who is contemplating dropping out of school,
I really do believe in you. And hopefully past that cliche combination of words, that actually means something.

This quote sums up my life right now.

2011-03-17T08:28:00.008-06:00

Perfectly.

Via a really sweet company.

Musée d'Orsay.

2011-03-15T22:05:00.014-06:00

I visited the Musée d'Orsay last month, and fell in love. I took my time wandering around and enjoyed every single exhibit. I've been to some amazing museums around the world, but this one is my favorite. Since photography was prohibited, I wrote down the names of specific pieces, that reminded me of specific people in my life. I'm so grateful to have the friends and family I do. Love you guys.

Renoir has always been my mom's favorite, and I wish she could have enjoyed this one with me. She just might have fainted.

"Bal du moulin de la Galette"
Renoir

This beautiful ballerina, along with all of Degas's paintings, made me think of my adorable dancing nieces, Taylor and Kate.

"La Petite Danseuse de Quatorze Ans"
Edgar Degas

For some reason, this one had "Rachie" painted all over it.

"Nymphéas bleus"
Claude Monet

This one was stunning in person. These colors and the vintage coolness factor, both reminded me of Brittney.

"Pierre Bonnard"
Le peignoir

The beautiful emotion in this one reminded me of my Dadio.

"Les disciples Pierre et Jean courant au sépulcre le matin de la Résurrection"

Eugène Burnand

My sister Jennie is always patiently teaching me about lighting in photography. For a painting, this lighting seemed just perfect.

"Cathedrale de Rouen, Plein Soleil"
Claude Monet

I know. Not famous or anything, but my favorite. Maybe I cried.

"Esclave d'amour et Lumière des yeux"
Etienne Dinet

Click on images for sources.

Praying for Japan today.

2011-03-14T22:32:00.007-06:00

Click on images for sources.

Some more favorites...

2011-03-07T08:58:00.008-07:00

...from my recent trip to Paris.

I.m. possible.

2011-03-06T22:48:00.010-07:00

This past year or so has been especially rough on me. It's beaten me up pretty good, in a bunch of different ways. And I don't expect, or even really want anyone else to know what kind of toll it's taken on me. It's been my battle to fight, even though I've had more help than I can acknowledge along the way. Life has pulled and stretched me into an entirely different person, it seems, but somehow I like the way things have turned out. I like the way I have turned out. Of course, I'm just at the beginning of a long road towards discovering who I want to be, and who God sees in me, but I feel closer to that person. And for the first little while in a long while, I'm good. Happy, even.

As for the image above. In a way I guess only I can fully understand for me... if "i.m. possible," nothing is "impossible" with Him. If I really am feeling the way I do now, anything is possible with His love. I'm feeling very grateful today, for the Lord's very apparent hand in my life. I know His love is real. Big enough for all of us, yet specific enough, just for me.

Click on images for sources.

The Eiffel Tower.

2011-03-05T16:05:00.010-07:00

I wasn't expecting for it to take my breath away,

but it did.

This isn't a very flattering picture of me,
but I love it because it is proof of my utter happiness at that moment.

Paris, je t'aime.

Toddler hungry.

2011-02-28T11:46:00.019-07:00

I've been teaching about religion in my Geography classes for the past few days. I always like to include plenty of visuals on my powerpoint presentations, and there seems to be a reoccurring theme of little ones. These are a few I've found. I honestly can't help it. Seriously though...

My kids laugh at me. One class even debated for a while, what would be their best chance of receiving extra credit. (So maybe I'm a really hard teacher.) They started with money. Of course, I said that was too unoriginal. They needed to put a little more thought into it. Then they moved to skymiles. I recognized they were understanding me a little bit better. I applauded their efforts. Then the kid who never talks in the back of the class, softly voiced the idea of bringing me a small child. I don't think I have ever laughed that hard at school before.

That was the same class of students that decided I wasn't baby hungry.

I was "toddler hungry."

Over the weekend, one of my favorite students emailed me links to all of these pictures. These were my favorites. I'm so glad I'm making such a valuable influence on my students' lives... somehow making all of them as "toddler hungry" as I am. Awesome.

Click on the photos for links.
Except the little Buddhist monks.
They are hiding from me somewhere on the internet.

Watched this FANTASTIC movie on Netflix last night.
I can't stop thinking about it.

Strolling the Champs-Élysées.

2011-02-27T23:00:00.007-07:00

This family was adorable.

I loved these two.

These were two of the four brides taking pictures together.

I would have loved to take this one at night with a tripod,
but considering I was balancing on a median without a tripod...
it turned out okay. :)

Happy Monday!

Rebellious lovers.

2011-02-25T11:46:00.003-07:00

After reading this article, it looks like these locks on Pont des Arts bridge in Paris are symbols of undying love. Couples either throw the key in the Seine river below, or keep it for their next trip to Paris. Apparently, the locks were outlawed last May and mysteriously removed days later. But I was happy to see that rebellious lovers are still keeping the tradition alive.

Parisian pastries.

2011-02-24T12:13:00.005-07:00

One of my very favorite memories was in a little corner bakery. If I would have been walking any faster, I would have missed it. It was pouring outside. I was freezing as always, and craving a cup of hot chocolate. Not only did this little shop have perfectly hot, hot chocolate, but also the prettiest pastries I've ever seen. The woman behind the counter was quite entertained with my mini-obsession with her creations. She even gave me a free piece of chocolate with a big smile when I left. I wish I could have told her more than "merci."

These ones tasted as good as they looked.

Oh hey. That's me.

I'll have one of each. Yes, please.

Oh... and the baguettes...

The first of many Paris posts.

2011-02-23T21:48:00.010-07:00

My whirlwind trip to Paris was wonderful, to say the least. I started traveling Thursday afternoon and returned home Monday night, in time to work Tuesday morning. I'm still in awe with all I was able to do and see, and as usual, my favorite souvenirs are my photos.

For some reason, before my trip, I didn't think I would be a huge fan of Paris. It seemed like too cliche of a travel destination. Mention Cambodia, India, Brazil, Kenya? I'm there. But Paris? It seemed like people were always telling me how they didn't even like Americans. Silly I know, but I was skeptical of all the hype.

But. Paris was actually for work and completely paid for. (Story for another day.) Very simply put, there will NEVER come a day when I will turn down an opportunity to travel. And so I went. Excited, but not overly excited. I never would have never guessed how quickly I'd fall in love with the city everyone else already seems to adore.

Paris really is all that it's cracked up to be. I'm so happy I was able to experience it. I will be posting plenty of Parisian photos this week. And if you were wondering whether or not I ate that escargot above... of course I did.

You probably should never challenge me to an ugly-face-making competition.

2011-02-09T19:54:00.003-07:00

I will win.

Every single time.

Well... maybe not every time.

Well done, Ki.

新年快乐.

2011-02-03T08:38:00.006-07:00

Happy New Year! In honor of the lovely Chinese holiday, I wore my favorite Chinese dress to school; gave my students lucky red envelopes (without money); had them each try lychee jelly, hi-chews, and my favorite mochi; attempted following this video of Tai Chi for the last ten minutes of every class; and ate sushi with my roommates last night. Ok, so sushi is Japanese. But whatever. I love Chinese New Year. Thank you, Taiwan. With so many scary things going on in the world right now, I'm glad a big portion of people are celebrating today.

Hopefully, I'll get to visit the Bellagio's themed flowers in Vegas next weekend.

My picture in Taipei from 2009.

I love TED talks.

2011-01-30T11:48:00.010-07:00

I've spent the last few weeks discussing international development in my Human Geography classes. For one assignment, I had my students design their own Non-profit organizations. They brainstormed mission statements, fund raising plans, logos, and all sorts of annoying details for their organizations.

As they presented their final plans, I was seriously blown away with their ideas. And I loved how passionate they were about sanitation in Cambodia, human trafficking in China, employment centers in Guatemala, new homes in Haiti, and girls' educations in India. I'm so grateful for students, who inspire me everyday.
And for Shukla Bose, in this TED talk.
I love hearing about the good she is doing in India.

Do you have any favorite TED talks?

adorable pictures from here and here.

Pretty much my favorite quote ever.

2011-01-29T05:19:00.000-07:00

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as a fuel, as a reminder of your strength." - August Wilson -

Thanks Nicole, for sharing.
I took this picture in my aunt's yard last spring. I still love it so much.

Having a little too much fun with pig eyes.

2011-01-27T13:21:00.006-07:00

Yeeeaaah. You read that right. I got a bag full of pig eye balls from a local slaughterhouse for my AP Psychology students to dissect at the end of our Sensation and Perception Unit.

Had to bust out the fish-eye for the pig eyes.

Love this student. He was so proud of his perfect lens.

The student on the left is the one, who brought me the deer brain. :)

I have three aides in one class period.
I always let them do the fun stuff and rarely make them do anything else.

Two very talented dancers. They remind me of this incredible video.
(Thanks Britt.)
Seriously, I saw them dance a duet at a school concert and cried.

Sick.

I'm so grateful for my students.
They are without question, the best part about my job.

Paris in three weeks from today!!

Favorite links from around the web.

2011-01-19T20:46:00.004-07:00

I watched this video today and got seriously excited. This is what I will be taking some of my students to do in Costa Rica this June. (We'll be spending about four days volunteering in a school as well.)

I love this video on Rockstar Diaries. Yay for inspiring people and their inspiring stories.

My sister, Jennie, finally posted her Christmas card photos on her blog. They are brilliant. (This outtake one is my favorite. Notice shoe on hand.)

Parks. You knew I'd love this Ugandan break dancing video so much. Gosh, I love Africa.

I can relate to Meg Fee in so many ways, especially this one.

One of the best NGO websites I've seen in a while. A favorite student recommended it to me. I want a big part of my life to be dedicated to this issue, and soon.

This girl is absolutely incredible. She never ceases to amaze me.

Just thought I'd share. Hope you have a good day.

Basically, we have way too much fun at our job.

2011-01-15T13:29:00.004-07:00

On Thursday after school, a couple of our students asked us to perform during the assembly on Friday. They had no doubt we would say yes.

We did a little freestyling to "Teach Me How to Dougie"
and followed Margo's lead on "Single Ladies."

Our poor students will never look at us the same.

Since I teach Psychology, after the assembly, I told them all that we were going to do a little hypnosis activity to help them forget everything they just saw.
They laughed at me, like they always do.

Good thing they have a three-day weekend to let their memories fade
at least a little bit.

Avatar for term one. Single ladies for term two.
I wonder what term three and four have in store.
Have a wonderful weekend.

And if you must watch, here are the performances of
dougie-ing and single ladies.
The other single ladies performance was WAY better,
but I still need to track that video down.
Enjoy.

Another pretty wedding.

2011-01-09T22:05:00.006-07:00

I love helping my talented sister shoot weddings.
She teaches me so much, and I realize more and more every wedding,
just how much I am absolutely in love with photography.

Pretty bridesmaids.

Such fun little details.

Loved the lighting on this juice one. And a fun fish-eye snapshot.

Does loving this picture, make me a terrible person? Maybe.

New dreams.

2011-01-06T21:06:00.009-07:00

"You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream."
C.S. Lewis

Have you ever realized you want another dream, after you're already on a path towards a different one? Or have you ever had a dream, and then it came true? Then what? I've felt a combo of both. In some ways, I feel like it's time for me to find additional dreams and different ones. Time for me to dream audaciously. (Ooooh. I like that word.) It's a bit scary, but even more than a bit exciting. There are so many wonderful things I can do and become, and I'm looking forward to a new batch of dreams to live for. Just gotta go figure out what they are.

Paris photo from here,
because I'm going there next month.
:) I'm giddy, thinking about it.
He he he he.

Bring it, 2011.

2011-01-02T21:04:00.009-07:00

I was very ready for this new year. For lots of reasons, but mostly just for a fresh start. I'm grateful for new beginnings. Especially for the chance to let go of any regrets I've been hauling around. I'm also grateful for all the good things I know are in store. Instead of making a list of hard-to-keep resolutions, I just have a couple of goals for 2011.

1. Be healthy... physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

2. Control what I can control, and leave the rest up to God.

So in two very simple words... heal and trust.

Bring it, 2011.

This picture is one of my very favorites from 2010.
Guatemala was the definite highlight for me.
Loved Carlos and his friends.
P.S. I miss being a travel blogger.
And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need to do something about that soon.

Christmas highlights.

2010-12-26T16:10:00.006-07:00

Sleeping in. My 10-year-old nephew's excitement with his new gadgets. My mom's homemade cinnamon rolls. My 2-year-old nephew's excitement with everything to do with Toy Story 3. Dwight Howard. My nieces, in their cute Christmas outfits. Buzz Light Year toy. Hand engraved gifts from my jeweler grandpa. Foosball. A phone call home from my sister Ally, on her church mission. New suitcases for my next traveling adventures. Holding my newborn baby cousins. Dwyane Wade. My Aunt Sharon. My cousins, who I don't see near enough. Homemade ice cream and German chocolate pie. My 10-year-old niece's mini piano recital. Christmas nativity pageant with most of my nieces and nephews. A "probability game", where my whole family tried to decide which country I should visit next. (Hilarious.) Just Dance on the Wii with everyone. Despicable Me. More homemade ice cream and pie. I loved it.

Love at first sight.

2010-12-24T04:47:00.012-07:00

A while back, I assigned a paper for my Psychology students, where they each wrote two eulogies, to be read at their funerals. One was from the perspective of their potential spouse, the other from their potential child. Of course I had a few students, who claimed they were never going to get married or never have kids. Some were convinced the world was going to end in 2012, so there would be no funerals. Others swore they would die at the exact same moment as their spouse, so there'd be no need for a spouse eulogy. And those kids didn't even get pity points.

However, for the students who put a little thought into it, I think it helped them realize what they value most in life. It helped them understand their priorities, maybe ones they didn't even know they had. I enjoyed reading their thoughts, but there seemed to be one reoccurring theme in a good portion of (mostly the girls') papers. It came from the perspective of their future husbands.

"When I saw my wife for the very first time, I knew she'd be the one I'd spend my forever with." And in a bunch of other combinations of word choices, the same concept again and again (and again). Love at first sight. It took just about everything I had not to take my bright red pen and make a few disagreeing comments surrounding those paragraphs. But. Then I realized that their life experiences later down the road would prove them wrong. Or who knows? Maybe prove them right.

From my life experiences, I don't believe in love at first sight, and I actually don't want to believe in love at first sight. Here's why. I want my guy to know every single little fault I have. I want him to know how difficult I am when I'm tired, (which is most of the time). I want him to see my emotional breakdowns when I'm feeling too stressed. I want him to hear my terrible voice when I sing and witness the awfulness of my selective memory. I want him to see how miserable my perfectionism can sometimes make me. I want him to know how movie illiterate I am, not because I want to be, but because I'm too busy. (But really. I don't even have cable.)

I want him to see me mad, even if he can't help but think it makes me look sexier. I want him to taste my good cooking, as well as my not-so-good cooking. I want him to see the inside of my car, which is more often than not, trashed. And listen to how often I complain when I'm stubborn enough to keep doing things that hurt my back. I want him to laugh with me when I speak in terrible accents in foreign countries. And see me annoyingly sentimental during the holidays. I want him to know the part of me that holds grudges and cries for no reason. And instead of loving me despite my flaws, in some crazy way, I want him to love me because of my flaws.

In the same way, I want to love him, even when he is more stubborn than I am. I want to see him lose him temper and get mad, even when I don't think he should. I want to hear his bad accent in foreign countries, and I want to be annoyed that he isn't a grammar critic like me. I want to witness his unreasonable obsession with video games and his tendency to get distracted when I'm talking to him. I want to see him, having a hard time forgiving or forgetting. And I want to listen to his equally terrible singing voice. I want to think he's selfish sometimes, and I want to get frustrated that he doesn't think the way I think he should. I want to know all of his flaws, and in some crazy way, love him because of them.

Then I'll know it's real.

Even though this isn't a very Christmasy post, Merry Merry Christmas.
These are pictures of my house at Christmas time.
It basically looks like the North Pole.

Just so you know... NieNie is my hero.

Christmas pictures.

2010-12-22T13:47:00.003-07:00

So. There was this one time, when we were setting up our Christmas tree,
and I decided to wrap lovely Margo up with lights to take pictures.
She let me!
AKA best roommate ever.

Change in perspective.

2010-12-21T22:11:00.008-07:00

Oh my goodness. It's been over three weeks since I blogged last. I'm pretty sure that has been my longest blogging break to date. I wish I could say it was totally unintentional, but that wouldn't be exactly true.

I try and do my best to keep my blog pretty positive, looking on the better, bright side of things, but lately, my perspective hasn't been particularly better or brighter. For no apparent reason, really. Just a nasty little thing I've been battling for a while called depression. Ugh. I really hate that word. I'd like to think I win the battle most days. But some days, I don't. It all started a few years ago, when another back injury seemed to be the last drop in an overfilling cup of yuck. Since then, I've been learning little by little, how to find the happiness that is already all around me. Sometimes it's just so hard for me to see it.

I know I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. And from now on, I'm going to blog during those times when I do feel strong, so I can remind myself of that. I'm so grateful that today can be better than yesterday, and that tomorrow can be better than today. I don't know a lot. But I do know that, more than anything else, my perspective can change to a better, brighter one, when it is focused on Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas everyone.

picture with my new lens

So much to be grateful for.

2010-11-28T14:26:00.003-07:00

I know I'm a little late, but here are some things I am so grateful for today.

My student took this picture of a map in my classroom.

Lunch dates with my grandpa.
A cozy little home that's all mine.
Shout outs from my students at their acoustic concerts.
Dating advice from my 10-year-old nephew.
Girls night out.
All of my mom's cooking. (Famous orange rolls below.)

Skype dates with my best friend.
Aventura station on Pandora.
Upcoming travel opportunities to see the world. (See map above.)
Essays that are so terrible, they are entertaining to read.
Wedding dates with my camera and my big sis. (Most recent wedding below.)

My faith.
Songs that never get old.
Holidays traditions with my family.
And my nephew's laugh. (You need to watch this.)

Amen amen amen.

2010-11-15T13:03:00.006-07:00

Yesterday, I spent some much needed family time at my aunt and uncle's house.
I love them. I love my cousins. I love my family.
After dinner, the boys pulled out their guitars and started practicing a song they will be singing at their brother's wedding in a couple weeks.
One of my cousin's wrote a song, something about love as a golden road.
It was beautiful.
I cried. Happy, grateful tears.
These pictures and quotes remind me of the song.
I'll make sure to post the video of them singing it at the wedding,
so you can cry too. :)

My newest favorite quote via
pictures via and via

Today, I am grateful for...

2010-11-10T13:35:00.013-07:00

This quote.

The extra time I have to chat with my students after school, now that volleyball season is over, especially when they tell me all the reasons why I should date their math teacher.

Netflix, even if I'm a nerd for filling my que with foreign films and documentaries. This one is next.

Hummus and pita chips from Costco. Yummmm.

My massage therapist. I don't know why my neck and back are so mad at me, but she always finds a way to calm them down.

Salsa dancing. Who knew Utah was so much fun on the weekends? Trying here tonight.

Oh. And I forgot to tell you. I'm going to Costa Rica in June!!

It's Friday! Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

picture via

Pink clouds.

2010-11-09T08:23:00.007-07:00

My absolute favorite time of day is when the sun is setting,

especially when the clouds transform into a perfect shade of pink.
I'm pretty sure God is letting me know He loves His daughters in a special way.
And my Grami is sending me a big giant hug and a love pat from Heaven.
I love pink clouds so much.

Images via
and via.

"Hey Ms. Schlauder...

2010-11-06T20:12:00.006-06:00

... I have something for you."

With a brown paper bag in hand and a big grin on his face,
I knew this was gonna be good.
We've been learning about the brain and biology in my AP Psych class lately.
I might have mentioned that I wish I had animal brains to look at.
One of my students went deer hunting with his dad over the weekend,
and of course, brought me back the brain.

He said the best part was when he and his dad were sawing open the skull,
and the dad asked about his crazy teacher.
"What's her last name?"
"Schlauder."
They both laughed for a while.

So, we won the Halloween contest at school on Friday...

2010-11-01T22:13:00.002-06:00

And I have the best roommie in the world.
Have you ever wanted to write something really great about someone,
but you hesitate because you know words simply can't express just how great they are?

That's me, trying to write about Miss Margo.
Friday was her birthday.
And after a week of end-of-the-term madness,
all we had energy for was eating, eating, and eating at Tucanos.
We thought about rocking these Halloween costumes around town,
but it didn't quite work out that way.
We slept instead.

And spent the majority of Saturday at the school as well.
When she was finished entering grades on Saturday night,
I was not.

She stayed to clean my office, hang my maps, organize my junk...
you know, all the stuff that would have never gotten done otherwise.

I've heard that people are placed in our lives for a reason, season, or a lifetime.
Margo dear, I'm so grateful I have you for all three.
Happy birthday, my little Na'vi.
Nga yawne lu oe-r.
(Na'vi for "you are beloved to me")

Wow. You can really learn the language from the movie.
So intense.

Newest obsession.

2010-10-24T21:12:00.002-06:00

When I was a little girl, I LOVED new books. My neighbor's book fairs were the highlight of my year, and I would spent hours browsing around book stores with my mom. The unfortunate thing about my obsession was that I would get so excited to buy the books, but never read them. I'm afraid I may be developing a similar obsession.

image via

I was given this beauty of a camera over the summer, and I've read through the manual a couple of times. The one roll of film I did take turned out to be a disaster. And yesterday, I happened upon a really nice lens for it at DI. Of course I bought it for twenty dollars. So. Now, I have no idea how to use the camera, film in general, or my new lens. Does anyone recommend any really great resources I should read to teach myself? I'm sure the pictures will be gorgeous. I just need to learn before I get too frustrated. Any suggestions would be appreciated. And yes, I will read the book this time.

image via

Would anyone else LOVE for this to be a wall in their house?

* For those of you who asked, this is my favorite digital camera, AKA "my baby." And this is my favorite lens. I would recommend them both, to everyone.

Love this quote.

2010-10-24T13:01:00.007-06:00

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grow in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…
We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
-Mother Teresa

I've been loving the quiet rain the past couple of days, here in Utah.
If only it weren't such a pain to drive in. :)

Pretty pictures via.

Autumn.

2010-10-20T23:20:00.012-06:00

I should love autumn more. It seems like everyone else does. So many of you see it as a time of new beginning and feel a sense of magic in the changing leaves and fun fall festivities. I do love wearing my boots and eating popcorn balls, but I wish I saw the changing weather as something other than a forced progression into winter. I'm not a fan of winter. Fall in Utah is absolutely gorgeous. I know this. I just have an incredibly difficult time breaking away from teaching and coaching to actually enjoy it. I'll work on that. Yeah. I will eventually love autumn like I should.

But today, I think I felt that magical sense of new beginning that so many of you are so good at blogging about. One of my students asked me, "Ms. Schlauder. Have you taken a breath today?" I replied, "You know what? I think I forgot. Thanks for reminding me." Then I made new seating charts for all my classes. It was the happiest I've been all week. Goodness. I realized I should probably carve a pumpkin or get lost in a corn maze or go to a football game. Something that would make me feel like a more normal human being. I took a nap instead. But I did wake up and eat a carmel apple. That was the second happiest I've been all week. Go enjoy a yummy fall treat. XO.

Another gorgeous wedding.

2010-10-18T12:16:00.006-06:00

I spent the weekend in Vegas, helping my sister photograph a gorgeous wedding. I absolutely adore the bride, and I loved being a part of her big day. Here are some of my favorites, straight from my camera. I know they'll look even better once my sister uses her magical editing skills on them. The lighting. The colors. I am officially in love with my camera.

More pretty girls.

2010-10-12T07:19:00.006-06:00

And now my school's drill team.

Sunrises are pretty spectacular on this side of the lake.

So excited to photograph a wedding with the big sis this weekend.

Audrey Hepburn quote.

2010-10-06T14:32:00.002-06:00

I know you may have heard this before, but I've only heard bits and pieces.
I'm loving the whole thing today.

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others."

picture via.

Utah State Fair.

2010-10-06T06:18:00.008-06:00

Two of my favorite photos from
the Utah State Fair last month.
The sea lion show was pretty fantastic.

I am drooling over four things right now.

2010-10-04T19:56:00.004-06:00

1. My incredibly talented photographer sister, who took all of these pictures.
2. My incredibly gorgeous best friend and her hot husband.

Seriously guys. You make just about everyone else look bad.

3. My incredibly adorable cousin, who's actually my first cousin - once removed,
but really I hope he calls me Aunt Amy someday.

4. And oh my goodness. These twins.

Hanging out with Bristol.

2010-09-28T15:14:00.004-06:00

My nephew, Bristol, is the cutest. I had so much fun hanging out with him and his family last week. He loved the witches and pumpkins at Gardner Village, and kept wanting to hold my hand through dinner. His big sister even tattled on me. "Mom, Amy drew on herself." I guess that's what I get for getting henna all over my arm. Love you guys. Miss you already!

A few questions I'm asking myself today.

2010-09-27T14:44:00.007-06:00

Why did my henna tattoo fade so quickly?

Why don't my students think population pyramids are as cool as I do?
Why did I ever get a perm in Taiwan?
Why can't I get rid of this travel bug?
Why do I look forward to school lunches, as the highlight of my day?
Why do I still have scars from my Guatemalan staff infection?
Why isn't that airborne working?
Why did my first camera roll on my new oldie end up blank?

Why do my students repeatedly spell "definitely" as "defiantly"?
Why don't I have a voice?
Why do some of my best friends live so far away?
Why did I assign this essay to my students, that now I have to grade?
Why are some days so much harder than others?
Why can't I see this little man right now?

Happy Monday.

My girls.

2010-09-26T12:20:00.007-06:00

I took a little photo shoot of my volleyball girls on Friday, in the field next to our high school. I have no idea how we got so many pretty girls on one team.
Gosh. I love them so much.

It's amazing how different the past few months have been for me.
Learning to focus on all the things going right in my life,
instead of the couple things I wish were a different,
really has made such a huge difference.

Okay, so maybe I don't see myself living in Utah,
surrounded by cows and cornfields for much longer.
But with so many wonderful people and things to look forward to every day,
I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be right now.
It's taken me a really long time to get to this point,
but I'm so so so grateful,
for the place in life where I'm at now,
and the not-so-straight, nor simple road that has taken me here.

Guatemalan parade.

2010-09-17T00:00:00.003-06:00

As I was looking though my Guatemala pictures today, I was loving these ones.
I randomly happened upon a parade on Saint James Day in Antigua.
I was just out to get some orange juice, and I didn't even know it was a holiday.
There are few things in life that make me happier than random parades.
[Remember this one in Taiwan?]

The leash. The booty shorts. So wrong, yet so right.

Happy Friday!

This whole teaching thing.

2010-09-09T14:41:00.010-06:00

I've always wanted to be a teacher. Always. I made my little sister play school with me every day growing up, and as odd as it seems, I never once changed my major in college. But gosh. Sometimes this whole teaching thing gets overwhelming. A lot of times because it's so hard, but a lot of other times because I feel like I'm doing exactly what I was made to be doing at this point in my life. People always say how fulfilling being a teacher must be, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it is impossible to understand how fulfilling it is until you're in a classroom, suddenly referring to a random mix of teenagers as your kids.

My kids are the best part of my days. Each of them has added so much meaning and purpose to my life. I hope they know how much they mean to me. Like the one, who doesn't take notes all class period because he's making an origami octopus, as a present for me, on his way out the door. Or the one that has me baby sit his pet beta fish for the day. The boy that plays me a song on his ukulele every time I ask. Or the boys that want my advice about college athletics and stop by randomly, just to ask questions about recruiting. The girls that notice my jewelry, and the boys than notice my Nikes. And the graduated seniors that come back, just to say hi.

Like the assortment of kids, who have no where else to go before school or during lunch, and come hang out with me. The kids that would rather be anywhere else besides Utah. The kids that have never left Utah. The girls who started volunteering with me every week at this place, and invited me to go to Africa with them next summer with this group. The senior, who changed her volleyball number to 15 because it was my number. Or the kids, who've told me they're changing their major to Psychology, after taking my class. The volleyball girl, who calls me on the weekend, just to share good news about a volleyball scholarship.

Like the boy that resents his parents for forcing him into a religion, and vents to me about it whenever he can. The boy who is sick of foster care. The girl who wishes she could have said goodbye to her mom. The boy who vows to never be like his dad. Like the girl who cries in my office because she lost her virginity the night before and regretted it. The other girl who talks to me about giving her baby up for adoption. Another who wishes she had been brave enough to give her baby up for adoption. The boy that just wants a fresh start. The girl who was raped, and now works at a rape crisis center. The girl who overdosed that morning and comes to my class shaking and saying "I need help." The same girl, who helps keep her best friend from doing the same thing.

I wish I could put in words how grateful I am for the feelings I feel because of where I work. I know I've been a blogger slacker lately, but gosh. I really love my kids. They take up all of my time. But for right now, I feel like they are exactly where my time should be going.

Hope you all are doing wonderful. I kind of love the idea of the chalkboard in the picture above. Maybe I should turn one of my whiteboards into a fear board. Oh. The wheels never stop spinning. Have a great week.

Click on images for sources.

Things I don't love.

2010-09-03T18:53:00.009-06:00

With so many lists of things people love in the blogosphere, here is a list of things I don't love. Just keepin' it real...

1. Styrofoam
2. Pencils
3. Bowling
4. Gum
5. Chalkboards
6. Receipts
7. Winter
8. Trail mix
9. Waterproof mascara
10. Cats

What don't you love?

Pretty Vegas pic via.

Let's go fly a kite.

2010-09-01T22:12:00.009-06:00

It is amazing how Heavenly Father keeps teaching me the same lesson over and over again. I guess He keeps trying until I finally get it. I do appreciate the perseverance. :)

I cannot base my happiness on anything other than my core beliefs and myself.
I have very little control over much else.

My job is hard, and I'm a better teacher some days than others. Plus, with this economy, "job security" doesn't mean much. So my happiness simply can't rely on work.

Someone, somewhere, is always accomplishing more than me. So, if I center my happiness on my accomplishments, I'll never measure up.

And the hardest one for me. People are imperfect and have their own decisions to make, so when I place my happiness on their shoulders, I always find myself disappointed.

I know how to be happy, just being me (with the Lord's help of course).
And as cheesy as it sounds, I'm just about at the point, where I actually believing it and living it better than I ever have before.

Today was a gorgeous day.
And for some reason, I kept finding myself
wishing I was outside, flying a kite.

Found this blog today and absolutely love it.

These clips never get old.

2010-09-01T22:01:00.004-06:00

Not inspiring at all. Just purely entertaining. And exactly what I need right now.

Brilliant.

And now from my alma mater.

Intervention.

2010-08-31T20:31:00.008-06:00

Remember that one time, when I said how it was really ironic that I'd be wanting to go to India right now? Well. Here's why.

I got back from Guatemala about a month ago, and I've been battling some sort of bites/ rash/ infection for whole time I've been home. At first, it was no big deal. It's what I get for traveling so much, right? Then, it got worse, and more irritating. But it was fine. Made for a good story. Yeah. It kept getting worse. Doctor's didn't know what to do with me. (What's new?) One day, Margo and I sprayed my whole house, washed my sheets 47 times in hot water and bleach, and threw away all of my suitcases. These pictures were at the peak of our intervention. Yes. That is a flea collar around my ankle. And no. I didn't really wash my sheets 47 times.

It was pretty funny at first. (You would not imagine the one-liners my sister and dad were coming up with.) Unfortunately, two weeks later, it's not quite as funny as it was then. But it's still not too terrible, and still somewhat entertaining. It's been an itchy few weeks, but I have learned two very valuable lessons. (1) I have the best roommate in the world, and (2) I will use a lot more bug spray the next time I travel to a developing country.

Sorry, Mom. India still sounds like a great idea to me. I just might need to see my Mexico doctor between now and then. (Smiley face.)

Speaking of Intervention. Please tell me you've seen this amazing clip from the reality TV show.

My students inspire me.

2010-08-26T22:40:00.007-06:00

On the first day of school, one boy introduced himself
as a five-time cancer survivor.
The rest of my students cut him off mid sentence, and starting clapping.
I almost cried.
It's so good to be back in my classroom with my kids.
Even if there are 48 of them in there at the same time.
xoxo.

image via.

First day of school outfits.

2010-08-23T23:09:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Crazy. Where did the summer go? I'm sure my students are stressing out over their first day outfits right now. And I am absolutely steering clear of the malls for the next few days. If only my students really knew how to dress in style. Clearly, my sister and I got it. (Thanks, Mom.) The matching floral ensembles, sponge curler hair, colored socks with matching belts, matching siblings? Amazing.

Yesterday was my sister, Ally's birthday. As cute as she looks, she was a sneaky little one. We shared a room when we were younger. With pink bunk beds. One day, she carved A l l Y into our wooden dresser. I gave her a really hard time about how she was about to be in big trouble.

Finally, my mom would see past her baby blues, and blame her, maybe even punish her for something. For once, I wasn't the bad one. (Clearly, I wasn't the cuter one, but I could have won a childhood award for my tantrums. And maybe I kicked a whole in the wall once, during one of those tantrums.) Anyways, I went to go tattle on Ally to my mom. In disbelief, my mom came back to the bedroom to see for herself. Magically, the A l l Y had transformed into A M Y. I got a time out and probably threw another award winning tantrum. Yet another family story, I seem to tell over and over again. See my dad's story here.

Love you, Sneaky. Happy birthday.

Tell your heart...

2010-08-23T10:53:00.005-06:00

"...that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream."

All quotes by Paulo Coelho

"The two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip; to avoid this, the warrior treats each situation as if it were unique and never resorts solely to formulae, recipes or other people's opinions."

"You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle."

"One is loved because one is loved.

No reason is needed for loving."

I love what Paulo Coelho makes me think about.
Have you read his book, The Alchemist?
Maybe you should. It's wonderful.

Divs Sejpal is one of my new favorite photographers.
He took all these photos in India.

Have I mentioned that I pretty much think about going there every day?
Maybe next summer.

And at some point, I will tell you why that is so incredibly ironic for me right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

With pictures.

DC wedding photos.

2010-08-20T13:24:00.006-06:00

Here are a few of my favorite photos from Katie and Matt's wedding in DC a few weeks ago. Congrats Critchfields.
I love you and loved being a part of your big day.

Margo and I are working long hours, trying to get ready for the new school year.
I'm already tired, but excited nonetheless. I'll probably be just as busy as last year, but I feel so grateful. I love my job, and I love where my life has led me.

Here a couple of my favorite quotes lately.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
e.e. cummings

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart."
confucius

Have a lovely weekend. I plan on cheering on my high school's football team at their first game of the season and maybe salsa dancing with Rach. Yes, please.

Summertime.

2010-08-16T22:49:00.009-06:00

Utah. San Diego. Utah. Vegas. Utah. Vegas. Guatemala. Utah. Washington DC. Utah. Vegas. And now back to Utah. And 14 hour work days.

I didn't teach at all during the summer, but I feel like the summer taught me every day. Not only about a language and a country that were completely foreign to me, but about myself - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

For the past couple of years, and particularly the past several months, I have felt my experiences pull away layers of the person I've always thought I was, and reveal the person I really am. It hasn't been the most painless process, but after feeling free of all sorts of metaphorical layers, I really am so much happier.

My little sister wrote home from her mission a while back, talking about how God has custom designed the curriculum for each of our lives. Maybe it's just because I'm a teacher, but that continues to resonate with me.

I know God is perfectly aware of the experiences I need and the opportunities that are most likely to help me change and become better. I love looking back and seeing why things needed to happen just the way they did, recognizing the hand of the Lord in my life, and regaining faith and trust that things will work out just the way they are suppose to.

Maybe my curriculum feels tougher than it should at times because I'm (a) not a good listener, (b) trying too hard to figure out all the answers before I've learned the lesson, (c) incredibly stubborn, or (d) getting payback for all of the reading I make my AP kids do. :) Either way, life is good.
Hope you all have a wonderful week.

Thank you so much for all of your sweet comments.
And sorry for not getting back to you sooner.
Every single one of them means so much to me.

Photo tip #1:

2010-08-09T18:19:00.008-06:00

Give your camera to a four-year-old and see what happens.

Carlos.

Carlos's friends.

Carlos's shoes, seen while sitting in my lap.

Pacaya.

2010-08-09T10:47:00.009-06:00

We had volleyball tryouts today. It's crazy that volleyball and school are actually starting up again. I should be lesson planning, but I am posting pictures of a little excursion I took with some friends to a volcano a few weeks ago. I saw some really cool things in Guatemala and took tons of pictures, so yes. I'm still blogging about my trip. I'll catch up eventually, and post pictures of a beautiful wedding I went to this past weekend in DC. But for now, Guate! Guate! Guate!

Pacaya erupted just three weeks before we visited, so we weren't able to see any hot, red, flowing lava. Apparently it was too dangerous. Instead, we walked on the still hot, yet hardened, razor-sharp black lava. Not dangerous at all.

We almost got attacked by cows, twice.

Cell service was sketchy, at best.

Cows roamed as they pleased. I was frightened.
And we saw a few baby eruptions from the volcano.

Our 17-year-old tour guide semi-warned us about how hot these coals could potentially be.

We had sticks.

And hard hats.

I'd say perfectly safe, by Guatemalan standards.
I almost walked away without a scratch. :)

Hope you have a great week.

I am loving the photos on this travel blog.

My new friends in Montericco.

2010-08-02T07:14:00.000-06:00

I'm back in the states now, and with much better internet, my upcoming posts are bound to be very picture happy. I had such a wonderful experience in Guatemala, and I love sharing what it looked like, through my lens.

For the last few days of my trip, I visited a little beach town on the southern coast, called Montericco. I went alone, spent plenty of time reading Three Cups of Tea, got more sun then I've seen all summer, ate fish for almost every meal, got eaten alive by - I don't even know what, and best of all, made friends with these three.

The more I've traveled, the more hesitant I've become of taking pictures of children. They're not a tourist attraction. They're just kids, and I couldn't imagine being very comfortable of a tourist taking pictures of my kids. That being said, these three came up to me and asked me in Spanish to take their picture with my expensive ("carro") camera. (Yes. I understood their Spanish. Two pats on the back for me.)

One of their moms was nearby, and after laughing at their bravery, she tried to translate their request in broken English. I understood in both languages, and after the mother's approval, I mustered up some sort of response similar to, "I would love to take your picture." I had no idea that it would turn into a full photo shoot. These are only about half of the pictures.

She was gorgeous. She loved playing with my jewelry, my hair, and talking about anything and everything related to being a girl.

The silly faces his friends were making behind me, just to get him to smile, were equally as precious.

They came up with all of their poses, all on their own.

This is the response after I said something in Spanish along the lines of, "Let me see how strong you are!" Awesome.

Since they were so interested in every function of my camera, I decided to teach them one by one how to use it. It took quite a few pictures like these at first, for them to finally get the hang of it.

They got a little better.

Then they got it. They all took turns practicing and teaching each other, until they all were pleased with at least one shot they took. At that moment, there was no where else I'd rather be than giving photo lessons from this hammock on this beach to these kiddos.

Their friends just kept coming. And we all stayed and chatted on the beach for quite a while.

Henry, the oldest one in the back, gave me Spanish lessons for a long time that night. Actually until both of us couldn't battle the mosquitoes any longer. The boy in the white shirt, in the middle, was the photo-taking professional. The other kids were a bit intimidated by just how good his pictures were.

I loved getting to know these little ones, even if it was through bad Spanish and quick photo lessons. But what I loved even more, was when they came to hang out with me on the beach the next day. Before they dug out chairs in the sand and took turns listening to my ipod, they recognized me, and ran over to me, calling me by my first name.

I miss Guatemala already.

Lily pads.

2010-07-22T20:25:00.004-06:00

As we were sailing on Rio Dulce last weekend,
our boat slowed down, as we came upon these stunning lily pads.
I couldn't seem to take pictures fast enough.

For the millionth time in Guate, the colors were absolutely gorgeous.
[To try and prove it to you, these photos are all untouched.]

Boys and girls in canoes made their way to our boat,
selling starfish, necklaces, and other little trinkets.

I love love loved the lily pads.
As our little group was sailing away,
we all just kept saying,
"That was really cool."

So it seems like all my posts are delayed about a week.
But just to keep it recent, this weekend was a big holiday in Antigua.
I'm so excited to post pictures of the parade,
the street performers, and people in the central park.
Yay for festivals. Yay for Guatemala.

Hope you all have a wonderful week.
I'm off to another city in the southern
part of the country for a few days.
We'll see what kind of adventures I come with.
XOXO.

Tikal.

2010-07-22T18:01:00.006-06:00

This past weekend, I took a trip to Rio Dulce and Tikal in Northern Guatemala.
Here are just a few of my favorite pictures of Tikal, where there are an estimated 3,500 Mayan ruins (if I remember right), most of which have not been excavated.

There was jumping.

An awesome tour guide.
His passion about Mayan history was contagious.

An incredibly long and steep ladder.

Limestone steps, that we could climb up.

Cool rounded corners of temples.
Seriously though. How did they do that, 4th century BC?

Lovely sunlight and lovely photo taking opportunities.

Little holes to pose in.

More steps to climb.

More postcard-picture-taking opportunities.

And handstands of course.

I would HIGHLY recommend Tikal to anyone and everyone.
My little trip actually made me think about a distant career as an archaeologist.
Yeah. Why not?

Los Niños.

2010-07-21T23:42:00.009-06:00

I've been volunteering at an after school program for kids this week. [Los Niños] They mostly need help with homework and studying for exams. It's always an interesting dynamic, considering I help them with their Spanish homework, and I haven't taken math since high school. But today, their teachers lined all the kiddos up, put in Shakira's newest CD, and asked us to teach them the dance. Um. What dance?

The more experienced volunteers had the first song covered, then I got to choreograph the second one on the spot. I pulled various dance moves from memories of exercise of praise in Taiwan, "ugly dances" with my sister in our kitchen, and really awful step aerobic classes.

I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

AMAZING.

[Believe it or not, the little one in the yellow jacket is even more adorable in person.]

Feliz cumpleanos Dadio.

2010-07-20T23:52:00.005-06:00

My dad is the best dad in the world. That’s all there is to it.

I had a loose tooth when I was about seven or eight.

My dad tied my tooth to a foot-long string, and tied the other end of the string to my middle finger.

I felt great about the independence he bestowed upon me.

(I’ve always been a bit stubborn, when it comes to doing things my way.)

He gave me a pep talk, all about how I could pull out my tooth whenever I was ready.

I wasn’t even close to being ready.

And pretty confident that I'd never pull the string.

After the pep talk, with an optimism unique to only my Dad, he held his hand in the air.

“Ok. Now give me a high-five!”

And out came my tooth.

I will NEVER let him live that story down.

Love you, Dad. Happy Birthday.

Late afternoons.

2010-07-15T18:54:00.005-06:00

Late afternoon is a magical time here in Antigua.
The streets are crowded,
filled with people rushing to get home from work.
The markets are busy and loud,
with people buying last-minute groceries for dinner.
The buses are all lined up at the bus station,
honking to no avail.

Yet it feels completely silent.
Simply because the light finds its way,
so perfectly through the trees.

Off to Tikal for the weekend. Yay.

San Antonio.

2010-07-14T19:45:00.010-06:00

Yesterday, I visited a small pueblo outside of Antigua called San Antonio.
I wish I could have hung out with these lovely ladies all afternoon.

I've seen some beautiful things around the world,
but the very best part about traveling is getting to know people,
I wouldn't have had the chance to otherwise.

"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends."
Maya Angelou

The walls around my heart always come tumbling down,
whenever I travel far from home.
I can almost feel my capacity to love, physically increase.
Do any of you feel the same way?

Lago de Atitlan.

2010-07-12T12:57:00.006-06:00

On Saturday, I visited Lake Atitlan. The views of the lake and the volcanoes surrounding it were breath taking. [The only thing bad about the day was that I forgot the battery in my good camera.] Oh well. I'm grateful I have these.

The water was perfectly clear. And surprisingly, the sky was too.
I loved the stillness of it all.

I couldn't get enough of these little fishermen.
They were using plastic bottles as fishing rods.
Who knows what they were using for bait.

Notice the Guatemalan flag.
And the little boy that was either left out.
Or too cool for school.

That would be me, in between two volcanoes.
Awesome.

A little hut on the water. Why not?

After boating around to a few different villages around the lake,
I watched an intense soccer game with a pretty great view.
I was joined by some lovely company.

I loved hearing these boys tell their stories.
I didn't even buy their trinkets,
and they still stuck around to talk to me for a good while.
Maybe the highlight of my trip so far.

I promise the boy on the right wasn't as miserable as he looks in this photo.

I am loving adventuring around this beautiful country.
Hope you have a wonderful week.

One time I went to the market.

2010-07-11T23:40:00.005-06:00

And I laughed out loud, as I watched a group of women
make fun of a live chicken.

Ilse.

2010-07-11T22:59:00.005-06:00

I'm pretty sure she is the most beautiful girl in all of Guatemala.

How is it that the littlest people have the biggest hearts?
How do they love without reservation?
She reminds me of the person I want to become.
And the little girl I once was.
I owe it to that little girl, to become exactly the person I've always wanted to be.
A person who remembers how to live and love with the heart of a child.

At the bus station.

2010-07-09T18:40:00.006-06:00

Commonly referred to as "chicken buses"
because people bring everything on board.
Including their animals.

So have I ridden a chicken bus yet? Of course.

Colors of the country.

2010-07-08T19:41:00.009-06:00

This city is so much fun to take pictures in.
Much more fun then trying to upload pictures onto blogger.

FAQs
1. What am I doing in Angtigua? Primarily, studying Spanish at this school everyday. But I'm doing plenty of adventuring as well. I'm headed to a lake on Saturday, a volcano next week, and salsa dancing classes as much as possible. I hope to be volunteering eventually.

2. Where am I staying? With a host family. The mom cooks me three meals a day, the two little girls try and teach me Spanish at every meal, the Dad is taking me to see his tomato farm this afternoon, and I have my own room. It is wonderful.

3. How long am I staying? About a month. Not sure how long I'll be in Antigua. There are so many cool things to see in Central America. I hope to see a few of them. I'll be back in time to be a bridesmaid and in time to get ready for the school year to start up again.

My favorite 5 things about my first 5 days.

1. Having one of my Spanish lessons on a black sand beach.
2. Getting to know the really cool backpackers staying in the same house.
3. Dancing salsa salsa salsa.
4. Walking everywhere on cobblestone streets.
5. Driving through the countryside with the windows rolled down and music turned up.

(Not to mention, the beautiful colors of the country. Pretty, huh?)

Guatemala.

2010-07-05T21:13:00.005-06:00

A couple of my closest friends have told me that traveling is my drug. And yes. I may very well be addicted. I’m sitting in a very pink bed in a family of four’s home in Antigua, Guatemala. For whatever reason, my drug of choice has brought me here.

I bought my ticket about a week ago, and I’d have to say that flying into LAX at 9 at night, on the Fourth of July, was undoubtedly, the coolest firework show in the country. The five-hour red-eye to Guatemala City should have been a breeze, except for the two-hour delay, and the fact that I took an Ambien before I realized we were delayed. TERRIBLE idea. I’m just so glad I managed to stumble my way to my seat. It was actually a pretty terrifying experience.

The ride from the airport to Antigua was loco, as expected. Why can’t driving on the freeway in America be as entertaining? I’m just grateful I witnessed a crash versus experienced one. Anyways… stop worrying Mother. I spent the rest of the day walking around the city and purchasing some essentials. Like these lovely pink sheets, the “Best of Reggaeton Mix 2010,” plenty of not-so-legit movie DVDs, an incredibly bright handmade quilt, and freshly cut mango.

I’ll introduce my good camera to the city tomorrow. Here are just a few snapshots of the day. Now it’s time to eat my host mom’s dinner and somehow find a way to redirect these trails of ants away from my bed. I’ve signed up for some pretty intense Spanish classes, so we will see if my ability to write in English fades with time.

I’m happy to be here. Hope you all are enjoying your summer, wherever you are.

XOXO.

The Shack.

2010-06-26T09:24:00.008-06:00

I finished reading the book, The Shack, a few weeks ago. I know it's pretty controversial in some aspects, but I really enjoyed it. It provided great insight for me on how I can improve all the relationships in my life -- with family, friends, God, and myself. If you read it, what did you think about it? Here are some of my favorite quotes.

[Click on images to see sources.]

"Pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly, and if left unresolved [we] can almost forget that [we] were ever created to fly in the first place."

"Jesus?" he whispered as his voice choked "I feel so lost."

"A hand reached out and squeezed his, and didn't let go. "I know  Mack. But it's not true. I am with you and I'm not lost. I'm sorry it  feels that way, but hear me clearly. You are not lost."

(From Jesus) "All I want from you is to trust me with what little you can, and grow  in loving people around you with the same love I share with you. It's  not your job to change them, or to convince them. You are free to love  without an agenda."

"I suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships so  will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those  looking in from the outside."

"It is not the nature of love to force a relationship, but it is the nature of love to open the way."

(From Jesus) "You cannot produce trust just like you cannot 'do' humility. it either is or is not. Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. Because you do not know that I love, you cannot trust me."

P.S. Random. Send a birthday card to Nelson Mandela here.

I took my camera on a date to the Strip.

2010-06-23T11:27:00.014-06:00

I thought it was a brilliant idea.
Until I realized that Las Vegas Boulevard is 4.2 miles long.
Here are some pictures of new Vegas.
I'll try and get some of old Vegas once my legs recover. :)

Artsy.

Surprisingly European.

Little Church of the West Wedding Chapel.

Ironic that Spanish and Mandarin Chinese are the two languages I want to learn.
If only there was a sign in English, I wouldn't have gotten white paint all over my arms and hands.

P.S. My sister and I saw the Jabbawockees in concert last night. Loved them.

I should read more.

2010-06-20T11:33:00.005-06:00

...from one of my very favorite blogs.
My wanderlist is featured today on sending postcards. Check it out if you'd like.
And I will tell you all why I think my Dad is the best Dad in the world... later.

... from another favorite blog.

World Cup.

2010-06-20T03:02:00.009-06:00

Does anyone else kind of slash really wish they were in South Africa now?
I'm not even a soccer fan, but I would love love love to experience
the sights, the sounds... the excitement of it all.
Sports have a magical way of bringing people together,
and I think it's pretty awesome.
Here are some of my favorite World Cup pictures from the NY Times.
Go USA!!

Poor pinky.

Giraffe crossing. Of course.

Perfectly horizontal. So cool.

My favorite photo of the bunch.

I'm not really sure what's happening here.

Ouch.

GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL!!

Asian reunion on the strip.

2010-06-18T17:44:00.008-06:00

A friend of mine from Taiwan came to visit Las Vegas a couple days ago.
It was fun catching up with him and meeting some of his friends and family.

People on the strip couldn't quite understand how we all knew each other.
There were lots of awkward stares, and each one made me laugh.
I can't believe it's been just about a year since I came home from Taiwan.
It really seems like just yesterday.

We went to the top of the Eiffel Tower at the Paris Hotel.
Unfortunately, I've never been before.
We watched the Bellagio water show from the top. I loved it.
They took lots of pictures. So did I.
I am such a city girl.
And it's sooooo good to be home.

Have a great weekend. XO.

Grandma and Grandpa Cluff.

2010-06-13T21:11:00.012-06:00

Spent the weekend with my roomie's grandparents in Richfield, Utah.
Loved being reminded what true love's all about.

Laughed at all of Grandpa Warren's jokes.
(At 87, he can get away with anything.)
And hugged Grandma Anna at least 27 times.
Thank you again, Cluff family.
I hope to be tagging along again soon.

*P.S. pretty sweet engagement story [with pictures] here.

First year recap.

2010-06-11T11:57:00.011-06:00

I absolutely love the people I work with.

One year ago, I would have never guessed where I'd be today. This time last year, I was finishing up teaching in Taiwan, and I was searching for teaching jobs in Washington DC and New York. I must have sent out 350+ resumes (honestly), and I specifically remember one time, interviewing with a school district in DC, in an upstairs bedroom, in a shady little Thailand internet cafe, at three in the morning. Oh goodness. As the summer progressed, and teaching jobs became harder and harder to find, I applied for non-profit jobs back east, in Texas, in California, and in Hawaii. I applied for one job in Utah.

When all else fails, at least my kids think I'm funny.

Well, one thing led to another, and I accepted this teaching and coaching job four days before school started. I taught four different subjects, and it honestly was just as difficult as I hoped it wouldn't be. But I'm so grateful. Instead of riding the subway to work, I passed corn fields and cows in my SUV. And instead of teaching kids with major issues in the ghetto, I taught kids with major issues in the suburbs. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but it worked out nonetheless.

I'm gonna miss these boys and those dreads.

I have so many wonderful memories of my first year as a teacher, but the one that sticks out most is... that one time during lunch, where I looked around my classroom, and saw that the skater kids, the football players, the slutty girls, the goths, the preppy kids, the gay pride crew, and goody goodies all felt comfortable in my classroom. Maybe my favorite moment as a teacher. And maybe things really do happen for a reason.

A few things I've learned.

2010-06-11T08:37:00.005-06:00

When I'm depressed, I'm living in the past.
When I'm anxious, I'm living in the future.
When I'm at peace, I'm living in the present.

I'm ready to live for now.
I'm done living for then.
Life will always work out.
And I'm actually starting to believe it.
Hope you have a very peaceful weekend.
XOXO.

Image via inky finger files.
Inspired by we just don't know you yet.